> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.theartsybrain.rip/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Forgetting How to Win: The Psychology of Self-Sabotage and Rebuilding - URL: https://www.theartsybrain.rip/forgetting-how-to-win-the-psychology-of-self-sabotage-and-rebuilding/ - Published: 2026-09-06T08:35:40.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-17T18:33:08.000Z - Description: Most of us know how to blow up our own lives without even realizing it. Rebuilding starts with breaking the cycle and relearning how to win, one small, quiet step at a time. - Author: Eric Ravenwolf - Tags: manifestation, self sabotage, writing, art, Blogging, Universe Self-Sabotage has been a bane to my existence for far too long. I'm not sure where it started, but I remember even in my teens blowing things up just as I was about to do well at something I would find a way to wreck the whole thing before it even got off the ground. "You're not a loser, you've just forgotten how to win." Many years ago when I was too young to understand what it meant, a friend of mine told me this after I had just trashed a good opportunity for a promotion at work. It hit me hard, but I didn't understand how to change it. I think I'm finally getting it. I've talked about my past writing career if that is what you want to call it. I did ok, made some ok money and had a bit of a cult following. I may have been on the brink of breaking out at some point. I will admit it got stagnant. Markets were changing and i was having difficulty adapting and it hadn't become fun anymore. I was cranking out bad books as fast as I could trying to either re-capture past success or find something that would hit bigger than anything else I'd done, but I'd kind of painted myself into a corner writing extreme gory things. Then, subconsiously I blew it all up. Between undiagnosed bipolar, bad decisions and self-sabotage it all flamed out quickly and brutally. Instead of trying to hang around and salvage what was clearly dead and gone, I just walked away. I have spent years in therapy but besides that it started me on my witchy journey learning manifestation and just all around self improvement. I admit here, my psych meds did help a lot. It was around this time I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and found out some of my erratic behavior was due to this. While not an excuse, it explained to me why I had the crazy thoughts and bad ideas I had sometimes. The meds quiet that part of my brain so I can focus on being a better human being. I started meditating and manifesting and sometimes it would work, but others it didn't work. I'm currently reading the Black Book of Manifestation and its been eye opening. As many people manifest without putting in any of the work. With my blog I feel like i'm accomplishing more and I have been reading about the keys to manifestation and am happy to learn that for one, I was doing it wrong a lot. but second, I was on the right track to doing it right without even realizing it. The book explains to be a part of the universe and do things instead of just asking for things. Be a better person, be active and set out to achieve your goals. I would manifest a lot with my art business and I felt I did put in the work with my art, both drawing and posting daily as well as traveling around Texas doing art shows and festivals, yet the most I would sell at any given show was a print or two. Now, I know its a LOT of work and most successful artists I know have been at it 20 years or more. But I also know I may have picked the worst possible time to try and sell art. There are tons and tons of great artists out there who can't sell anything and the economy is awful and the world in general kind of sucks right now. Yes some artists are having success. So not saying it can't be done, but it just isn't in the cards for me. You see, I realized I was running from something. After my major crash out years ago, I told myself I'd never write another word again. I stuck to that for a long time, but had various iterations of this blog but then would take them down again. I feel with this blog I have found myeslf again. It's a mix of my old love for writing, and my love for art. I learned a new skill in the process of my healing and have been able to combine it with what I could already do. And instead of my words frightening people I'm enlightening people. Which is what I wanted to do from the outset anyway, I love horror books, movies and stories. So horror was a way to express myself. But with the extreme gore and violence I had gotten way away from who I really was and it became like a run away train before I knew what was happening. That brings me to another issue this book raises. Most of us are not ready for the success we are asking for. Let's face it, if i had 10,000 paid subscribers tomorrow I would probably have a panic attack. I'm still laying the foundation, learning how to interact with you guys and building the scaffolding for success. It's a marathon not a sprint. Overnight success would force me to try and come up with constant spectacular conent, copying things I thought were successful and pretty much chasing my tail. So, while I sometimes beat myself up that things aren't growing as fast as I would like, I take assurance I am building something special with a strong foundation. When success comes which I am confident that it will, because I am putting in the work and putting myself and positive energy into the universe; I will be ready for it and it will thrive. When I say putting positive energy into the universe, I want to clarify, I don't just say things like that. I try to support other creators both by buying their wares, but also lifting other people up. Sending people encouragement, kind words, sharing their work. Whatever I can do to help others feel good about themselves and pour into others. It is so easy trying to be a creator online and promoting our own work and art that we forget that others around us are actual people with their own goals and dreams. With the monetization of Facebook and Instagram pretty much everyone wants to be and influencer and paid for posting. A lot of them aren't scanning social media for art or fun conversations. Its all kind of become a toxic cesspool of clickbait and bad AI. But its not all ugly. We can sift through that, seek out other like minded creators and boost them up. Not everyone will return that energy though, and I quickly move on when its clear a fellow writer or creator is just in it to boost themselves up. I don't argue, just unfollow and get on with my life. I'm kind of digressing here. The point is, just putting words into the universe isn't going to bring us success and wealth. We need to take the action and put the work in to be able to handle those things as well as to build it. Its kind of like the Neuroplasticity Eileen Gu talked about during the winter Olympics. She said something to the effect that you re-wire your brain know you will be successful because you put in the work, you took all the steps so you accept there is no other possible outcome than your own success. Just sitting around visualizing it isn't going to do it. Visualization without the physical and mental heavy lifting is just fantasy. Which can be fine, but it won't yield results. Mind you, I'm learning this as I go. I'm not a guru and I'm seeing small nuggets of success with this blog, but I feel really good about it. Like I'm on the right track, but I'm not a full time blogger. I still have my work from home paralegal job. But I have a goal and a dream and I'm working towards it. One last thing, is negative self talk. I'm horrible at this. Maybe because of my religious upbringing, I was taught to be humble, plus insulted a lot as a kid. So I'll say I'm joking but then I'll say my art sucks, that I suck or that I'm stupid or ugly. These are not jokes, but mental blocks that I'm working on changing. When we say these things about ourselves, words are spells. That's why they call it spelling. We are literally cursing ourselves when we talk bad about ourselves. I am not ugly nor does my work suck. I think I'm actually a pretty good writer and a solid artist. So I reject these horrible things I've previously said about myeslf. You should too. These are the most simple forms of self sabotage we don't even realize we are doing. But we can stop it, and we have to stop it if we want to achieve our goals. If we think we suck, why would anyone else support us? Be your own biggest fan. I'm rooting for you! 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